Leap of faith

Life changes. 

I am a goal setter, queen of deferred gratification, an admitted control freak. I plan and make lists and and make plans about the lists I will make. 

I do well with a syllabus, an agenda. That's my comfort zone. 

So what happens when life throws you a curve ball?

I'm lost.

I'm scared. 

I  feel out of control.

In a time when some huge changes lie ahead, I'm really trying to take this opportunity to constantly remind myself and teach my kids these important lessons. Maybe if I keep focusing on them enough, they'll stick.

1. Life changes. That never goes away. Nothing is constant except God. 

2. The only thing I can control are my actions and reactions to the situation-if I'm sad or angry or anxious, it's because that's what I'm choosing.

3. Every change is a learning opportunity. I grow and become stronger with every experience. Leaving my comfort zone is a good thing.

4. Change has historically been good for me. Friends and experiences I've gained through changes that I wasn't  so sure about are some of my very favorites.

5. Feelings are not fact-they are fleeting. A bad day can easily become overwhelming in the moment but that shouldn't define the situation as a whole.

6. I've done this before - successfully. I can look back at points that were overwhelming and seemingly insurmountable and I'm still here. It wasn't always easy or pretty but I made it.

7. I'll do this again. Kids grow and leave home, jobs change, families change. I can't stick my head in the sand and pretend it's not there. 

8. My priorities ARE in my control and are not ever changing: God, Micah, my boys.

9.More specifically, home is where we are together. Everything else is really just details.

10. This is Gods plan. I don't understand it all or see it all clearly but He does. 

I had a big "God moment" this week in Paris. We were in the amazing church of Notre Dame on a rainy day.  I was spending time alone in a quiet corner in front of one of the beautiful stained glass windows. I was taking in the moment, the history, thinking about all the people that had worshipped there over centuries. I started praying and asked God to find me in that moment-in Paris, in the rain, in front of that window. No kidding, a big ray of sun lit that window up exactly then and then faded back into the dark clouds. I'm sure you could call in coincidence or crazy  but I call it faith. God heard me. He's with me, even when I'm lost.

It's a leap of faith .......

Here we go!