As previously mentioned, I have read countless books on parenting, had endless discussions with family and friends about specific child issues, prayed daily for my children and myself as a mother, and struggled with Micah to do the best for our kids. So it's been of great interest to me to begin to learn the Norwegian ideas and culture of child rearing. Although we all have the same goals--raising happy and successful children--our methods are very different. A few of the big ones I've found---
1. Everybody's doing it
Preschool (barnehage) is the norm here for children after 1 year. Norwegians typically consider it a necessity not only because most women work (due to high cost of living, great maternity benefits, and government subsidized child care) but because it is a necessity for early socialization development. In talking with local parents and preschool directors, it is common thought that kids are missing out if they aren't in school. For me, one of the big ideas I had coming here was being able to be the mom at home with Owen that I wasn't able to be with the other 2 boys. I had my older 2 boys while I was in medical residency. I spent many a 4am morning and overnight shifts at the hospital with nausea and pregnancy fatigue. I made it through 60hour + work weeks with the help for some amazing fellow residents and faculty. I was never able to go to the park or zoo in the middle of the day or enjoy library story times-I was looking forward to those moments. I am finding I am having to push against the cultural norm to have Owen at home and work a little harder than I expected to find playmates. Luckily, I am finding small group of similar international families who have navigated successfully the same path and are becoming a social network for us.
2. Don't baby the babies
Winter weather in Norway is not for the weak. Despite freezing temperatures, ice, and snow Norwegians ski, bike, jog, and play outside like its a warm spring day. The same is expected of children. At preschools, the babies routinely nap in their strollers outside on the porch--there are no cribs inside. In fact, there is little inside because the children spend the majority of their day playing outside---hours in the snow. On the ski slopes,young kids are tumbling all around and parents watch from a distance as they pick themselves up. Even at restaurants, kids menus are usually the same fare as the adult options, just smaller portions. Drinks are served in (gasp!) glass glasses-without lids or straws. And the crazy thing is that kids seem to get along just fine. They learn their expectations and meet them happily.
3. Less is more
Comparitavely, life here is simple. Meals are basic, often bland. Clothing is functional. Stores have much fewer selections. Houses are smaller. Architecture is clean lined. This culture of simplicity carries over to kids. Toys R Us is a quarter of the size. School rooms are fairly bare except for wooden blocks, puzzles, Legos. Electronic and sound making toys are significantly fewer. There are no big bell and whistle attractions-no Chuck E Cheese or Main Event. Some of these observations are related to the emphasis on the outdoors, some is related to he higher cost of living and decreased disposable income of families, and some is related to the very strict laws regarding marketing to children. But some is just simply the simple culture of simplicity.
4. Independence Day
On any given school day, you can find elementary age children taking the train to school, a teacher with a group of 3 year olds wearing their yellow reflective vests walking down the street to play at the McDonald's playground, kids at recess in their school yard without a fence or gate separating them from the road. Kids are given freedoms here we would never ever consider in the US. I've found it a bit nerve racking and anxiety producing.
5. Why can't we be friends
It's been a huge comfort that the boys' transition here was so easy. They were immediately welcomed into their group of friends. They go to school with friends from around the world-literally-and the kids don't even seem to notice. The local norwegians in the neighborhood and on Barrett's football (soccer) team have made them a part of the group without question. They are more accepting and non judgmental then any group of children or adults I've ever met.
I'm learning a lot here-some of which I like and some of which is not my favorite-but the Norwegian ideas produce content, independent, active, conforming people. Learning our differences and new viewpoints can only help strengthen the plans Micah and I have for our children. I remind myself daily to be open, welcoming new ideas, embracing our time and the culture here as Im able. God has a plan and I want to be able to receive it. I am thankful for the experience.
