Finding me

Who am I?

Getting ready for this big move, I've got my personal struggles. 

Of course I'm concerned and dealing with the boys adjusting, education, logistics, moving away from family, changing so many plans, etc.

But then there's me. I'm moving away from my job-my career. Working as a typical physician is not a likely option in Norway so I'm taking some time to get there, get settled, and figure out what my options are.

But there in lies my problem. I am

a doctor. That's what I do. That's what I'm good at. That's me. Who am I without the "doctor" in superdoctormom?

Since I was 18 being a physician has been a huge part of my life. Through college, medical school, residency, and jobs it has been a focus. I have always worked hard.  I have juggled call nights and holidays working and paperwork and patient phone calls---I am having a hard time seeing myself without those things. 

I am realizing that I have used my job as a crutch in a way. Its been the reason I don't have time for things (volunteering at the boys' schools more)  or I'm not good at things (cooking). What if I'm not a good wife/mom when you take away the job? Is what's left somebody I like?

That's what I have to figure out and honestly its a little scary. Redefining myself. 

I'm not sure where to start but I better get going.