Goodbye Norway

I'm really bad at goodbyes. I feel like I can never find the right words or setting or emotion. So it often ends up coming out as an awkward blubbering mess.
This change has proved true to form. We've had our time for goodbyes with friends and school and activities and teachers and I cried through them all. I may or may not have cried in the middle of pizza with my family. It's pathetic.

With all of that checked off the list, mistakenly I thought my tears were under control at this point. Then today, with all of our possessions headed off in a truck that hopefully makes it onto a Malaysia bound ship, we turned over the keys to our house. Spending our last night living out of a hotel room, I realize that I hadn't prepared myself to say goodbye to this place, this country, Norway. It's different this time. We left Texas knowing it was still and always will be home. Our house, our neighborhood, our country remained intact. Leaving Oslo is different because those deep roots aren't so secure. We don't know if we'll be able to come back or when. It feels more permanent.

But then as I've talked to God this afternoon and prayed, I found some truths that are pulling me up. We may be physically leaving Norway, but my experience here has become a part of me that will continue to grow. I am changed. I define myself in a new way. It is not leaving one place for another, but an acceptance of all that I am.
I have learned things from amazing people, visited amazing places, had amazing experiences, and I've been blessed to live this adventure with Micah and my boys. It's been incredible. I take pieces of each of these things and molded together, they have made me who I am. My memories are more than thoughts or photos, they are me. God has laid out this beautiful path and as I'm trusting in Him and brave enough follow, I am finding my plan. I am thankful for each good bye and each tear. “How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

A change of heart

Some of my family members might tell you that I have a history of being bad at change.
At age 6 we were relocating from Missouri and I distinctly remember wrapping myself around a bed post and telling my parents they could NOT make me move. Nevermind the fact that said bed was moving as well. Not the best choice, but that’s where 6 year old emotion gets you.
As an admittedly self-absorbed teenager, I dug my heels in when we moved after I finished high school into the city…almost 30 whole miles away from my life! To be clear, my bedroom did get relegated to the “sun room” which was a non air-conditioned former porch at the back of house. You would have been bitter too.
Micah and I’s biggest conflict in our decision to move to Norway was taking our kids away from home. He (who had never moved at all as a child) claimed it was no big deal. I (who moved 5 times in 10 years growing up) argued that he had no idea what it was like and how hard it was to be new.
So it’s pretty ironic that now, we have chosen to relocate our family yet again to a whole new world. I wanted to continue our adventures abroad. I hoped we would have another opportunity to extend our time.  I looked forward to all the places that have become possibilities. So what’s changed?
I’ve been inspired by our adventures.  We have delved into Norway, taking in as much culture, experiences, people as we could possibly fit in. We’ve explored with excitement all of Europe. We haven’t counted down days or wallowed homesick (at least for long). We’ve lived every minute and I’m proud of that.
I’ve been inspired by my boys. I came across a blog post about third culture kids recently that read “I love that they look at a map and see friends instead of stereotypes.” That’s it. The boys have unknowingly been exposed to so much and they have no idea of any underlying attitudes, fears, or labels that may be related.  They love different – in themselves and in others. They have learned as we’ve traveled and they’ve learned from the kids from all over the world who have become their best friends. Their world is without borders.
I’ve been inspired by my friends. When it feels like I’m a million miles away from home, and believe me those moments do exist, I can rely on the family we’ve found here. These friends are brave and smart and giving. They understand what it’s like to be away from home on Thanksgiving or not understand the language or be waiting with anticipation on your sea shipment to finally arrive. The connection is forever and strong.
I’ve been inspired by God. Just when I got to the point that I was finding my Norwegian groove, God threw me yet another curve ball. It was unexpected and my first reaction was similar to my childhood examples. “Hell no, we won’t go!” But as I relaxed and prayed and really listened, I understood that as much as I try to make it, it’s not my plan. God leads me and I will follow. His world is amazing and beautiful and wonderous and He’s letting me experience it. I am full of praise.
I spend these last few days in Norway grateful for my memories and my growth and my family’ strength. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have many a sleepless night right now filled with anxiety and worries and sadness that goodbyes are coming soon. But they aren’t filled with regret. New adventures await and we are ready to jump in.