"Ode to Micah" (sorta)

Ive been reading a new relationship book.

It's a (not so) secret hobby of mine to read self-help books. I have read more on parenting, marriage, and happiness than I could ever pass on. For some reason, I am fascinated with the vastly different points of view on the subjects. *disclaimer* Some of them out there are really really bad. You apparently need no knowledge or experience to write about how to raise boys to be happy, emotional stable men...in 5 minutes. They can tend to capitalize on unhappy people who are looking for a sure fix. 

But some of them offer really interesting insight if you are willing to read with an open mind (see: Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother). So my current read on successful marriage suggests outlining clear and concrete reasons "why you love *your significant other*".

Easier said than done. I find it very difficult to put such strong feelings into words. Here's my start:

1. Micah has been my best friend for over 18 years now. He knows me like no one else and vice versa. That's worth more than I can explain.

2. He is always patient. With me, with the boys, with God.

3. He is willing to admit mistakes and make an effort. We learn and grow with each other instead of in spite of each other.

4. Micah has still never beat me at a handstand contest. (he refutes this fact, but statistics speak for themselve)

5. We wholeheartedly support each other constantly- schools, jobs, passions. He knows he always always has me in his corner. 

6. He is the most selfless person I've ever known. I constantly try to push him to put himself first. 

7. He humors me. He laughs at my bad jokes, singing, hair days, cooking-whew!

8. He has loved me at my best- graduating medical school, finding my mission work, being a mother. 

9. He has loved me at my worst- not ready to elaborate there, just take my word for it.

10. I have hair-brained ideas. "I quit my job", "lets adopt another boy", "I'm going to graduation." He never tells me how ridiculous my thoughts are or makes me justify them.

11. When it should have been over, he refused to walk away. We made a committment to each other that we will figure this world out together. 

12. Marriage is hard. Nobody tells you that. Sometimes, in fact, it really sucks. I couldn't and wouldn't do it with anyone else. Ever. No matter what. Ever. Really.  (Does that convey my thought?)

So that's my thoughts for now. More to come. 

I am reminded of a favorite phrase. In our bedroom, we have an engagement picture that was matted and signed by everyone at our wedding. My favorite signature is from Micah's college roommate

Brian who simply wrote "it was always going to happen." 

It was.

God planned it.

In spite of ourselves. 

We can't screw it up as long as we keep looking to Him.

Really, that's the only  self help advice anyone ever needs.