I thought we were done with the hard goodbyes. Moving away from family and friends, last days, ending a chapter-we got through all of that already, right?
Except not.
Such is the life of an expat family at an international school. The population is transient-families moving on, leaving Norway, saying goodbye.
And it does stink.
Seriously.
Some of the kids leaving are those that stepped up to welcome the boys in their first days here. They made them feel at home, like all of this chaos was going to be okay. They've accepted them and laughed and played and given them happiness. I'm a little attached (and grateful) to them myself.
Saying goodbye is a life skill-one I've realized this week that I haven't really taught my boys. We teach them to say "please" and "thank you" and "I'm sorry" but not "goodbye."
I think it's because I don't like it myself. I like to wish away change, downplay the transitions, think of moving like "an extended vacation." There's no finality in that. There are no last words. But realistically, the boys are having to say goodbye to some friends that they probably won't ever see again. I have struggled to find the words to comfort them and hurt to see them sad.
What I keep finding myself saying is this--
How blessed are you to have made such a good friend that you are sad to see him go. It was only a few months ago that you were scared and worried about fitting in. And now...what a good problem to have. How lucky to have crossed paths with such special friends. Be grateful for your time together and what you learned from them.
I remind them that they aren't the new kids anymore. New families will be moving in. Those kids will feel scared and overwhelmed. They won't know anybody or have any friends. The boys have the chance to treat the new additions with kindness and acceptance as they were treated. Make them feel welcome and happy. What an opportunity!
I don't know if they get it or if it helps. They're swimming in sadness right now. They need to be sad. They need to figure out how to deal with their emotions themselves.
I can't do it for them.
I can only love them and encourage them.
I can only listen and agree when they tell me in tears that saying goodbye stinks.
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